It seems appropriate to share this story on the day before Thanksgiving.  There is something about the holidays, and this one especially, that causes us to pause and reflect on what we have to be thankful for at this particular time in our lives.  I have spent nearly 50 years painting the human figure.  It has been at times frustrating, but mostly an inexplicable source of joy for me.  I have often asked myself the question, "Why this particular subject matter, when perhaps some other choice would be of more interest to the buying public?"  I really didn't have an answer other than, "This is what feels right to me." 

Recently I had the honor of being asked to paint a family portrait for a very special person.  A message was left on my answering machine several weeks ago with a request for a portrait of several family members, who had passed away.  He said that it was going to be "a gift to himself for Christmas."  Being involved in several other art projects right now, and also knowing that finishing a portrait for this Christmas was, "out of the question,"  I waited a couple of days to call back.  When I finally did, a pleasant sounding young man listened to all of the excuses I had for not being able to fulfill his request.  He then assurred me quite nicely, that he was willing to wait.  At this point he softly mentioned that it would be a portrait of his wife and unborn child that had died in a car crash this past April. 
After a few moments of speechlessness on my part, I agreed to meet with him.  

Even though I am one of those people who prefers not to listen to the news, I had heard of the death of Jennifer Bukosky, her unborn daughter, Sophia, and her ten year old daughter, Courtney Bella, in a car crash that took their lives prematurely.  It would be impossible not to, in a small community such as Oconomowoc, and also because Jennifer Bukosky was a much loved teacher and associate principal at Oconomowoc High School.  Michael Bukosky is a gentle soul, who immediately impressed me with his ability to remember the goodness, and to honor that memory, as he attempts to move forward in his life.  He asked me to paint "the family portrait that would never be" of himself, Jennifer and Sophia,  I, of course, agreed having no idea how this would come about.  I simply hoped that they, (Jennifer, Sophia and Courtney) would help me out.  For the next 2 weeks I painted pretty much non-stop, hoping that I could fulfill this lovely man's request. 

It turned out to be a creative time, filled with great joy and satisfaction, that flowed through me and on to my canvas, as easily as breathing.  It seems that "they" in fact were definitely helping me.  It occurred to me that we, as artists, paint endlessly because we are, in fact, compelled to do so, but also because we are hoping in some way, that the images we create, will make a difference to someone who views them.  Michael has given me this great gift, because I know, that in my small way, I did make a difference in a situation that is something most of us will never have to experience.  So, to Michael, I say, "Thank you, more than words can express!  For you have given me a gift and made a difference in my life." Whether or not anyone would judge my painting as good or mediocre does not matter.  I have come to realize that it's not "how you paint," but "why you paint" that matters.

So on this Thanksgiving, I would like to remind all of us, that even though we may or may not always measure up to each other's expectations, in our hearts most of us have good intentions.  My family which includes my partner, 4 grown children and now 3 grandchildren, quite often don't agree with each other.  But in the long run.......how much does it really matter?  We all still have each other, and the hope that love will matter more than any other differences we may have.  So, I will leave you with the poem written by Jennifer Bukosky's daughter, Courtney Bella.  She wrote this poem a couple of weeks before she passed on.  It is the perfect poem to go with the portrait that I was so honored to create.

Imagine a Day

Imagine a day...
When nothing can hurt or scare you
Where everything impossible is possible.

Imagine a day...
When the beating of your heart
And your voice
Is all you hear.

Imagine a day...
When the twinkling
Of the nighttime stars
Is the only thing visible.

Imagine a day...
When you take a nap
Floating on the clouds
Dreaming about
All the good in life.

Imagine a day...
When, the only thing
You want to do,
Is fill an empty page with words
Writing your story.

Imagine a day...
When you become best friends
With the moon
Sharing its night time splendor.

Imagine a day...
When all you want to do
Is wonder and think
Wonder and think
Just imagine...

April 2008  Courtney B.



Related Journal/Sentinel article published 11/30/08
http://www.jsonline.com/news/waukesha/35235849.html
Related Oconomowoc Enterprise article published 12/08/08
http://www.gmtoday.com/news/local_stories/2008/Dec_08/12062008_05.asp